DAYS

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts
open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to th bar, order five
bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a
large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin
toasting and chanting, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Soon, three more blondes
arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51
days!" Two more blondes show up and soon their voices are joined in raising
the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Finally, the tenth blonde comes in with
a picture under her arm. She walks over to the table, sets the picture in the
middle and the table erupts. Up jumps the others, they begin dancing around
the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51
days!"
The bartender can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the
table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the
Cookie Monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks
one of the blondes, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?


The blonde who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that blondes
are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight.
Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together. . .the side of
the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days ! "

So my sister, a natural blond graduating

So my sister, a natural blond graduating from the University of
North Carolina Law School, is job hunting. I suggested that
since Microsoft is building up their legal team, she should send
them a resume and become a southern blond Microsoft lawyer

-- and be the butt of any joke on the internet.

A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life

A blonde decided that she was tired of her empty life. She
cut her hair and dyed it brown, and set off for a drive.
She wanted to do random acts of kindness to see if it would
change her life.


While driving through the countryside, she came across a farmer
who was trying to get his sheep across the road. She stopped
her car and waved the farmer across, thinking this would be her
first good deed.


After the sheep had all crossed, the blonde said to the farmer,
"your sheep are so cute. If I guess how many there are, could
I have one."


The farmer thought it impossible and told the blonde it was okay.


"637", said the blonde.


The farmer was amazed that the blonde had guessed the exact
number, but lived up to his bargain.


"I'll take that feisty one over there", said the blonde.


Then the farmer said to the blonde, "Okay, now if I guess the
real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?

Did you hear the one about the blonde

Did you hear the one about the blonde fox that got stuck in a trap?

She chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

The complaint letter from Judi

The complaint letter from Judi:

We blonds at the ofise are tired of all the the dum stoopid jokes
about us. We think this is hairassment. It causes us grate
stress and makes our roots turn dark. We have hired a loyer
and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol. We will take this all
the way to the supream cort if we have two. Juj Thomas knos
all about hairassment and he will be on are side.

We have also talked to the govner to make a new law to stop
this pursicushun.

We want a law that makes peepol tell brewnet jokes as much
as blond jokes and every so often a red head joke. If we don't
get our way we will not date anybody that ain't blond and we
will make up jokes about you and we will laff.

Sined by the blonds at the ofise
(sine with a penseel so you can erace it if you make a mistake)

What is the difference between butter and a blonde

Q: What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
A: Butter is difficult to spread.

A blonde and a brunette were talking

A blonde and a brunette were talking one day. The brunette said
that her boyfriend had a slight dandruff problem but she gave him "Head
and Shoulders" and it cleared it up. The blonde asked inquisitively,
"How do you give shoulders?"

Blondes dumb?

After many hours of extremely acrobatic and exhausting sex with a
blonde he had just picked up, a man goes into the kitchen for some food
to replenish his justspent energy. He pours himself a glass of milk
and right before drinking it, he realizes his manhood is still pretty
hot,so he sticks it in the glass to cool it off. Just then the blonde
walks in and says, "Oh, I always wondered how you refilled those."

What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?
A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.
A2: Only one person can use the phone at once.

What did the blonde say when she saw

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Look! they spelled MACY'S wrong.

What happened to the blonde ice hockey team

What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
They drowned in Spring training.

A young blonde girl goes to the doctor

A young blonde girl goes to the doctor for a physical. The doctor
puts his stethoscope up to the girl's chest and says, 'Big breaths...'
The girl replies, 'Yeth and I'm not even thixteen.'

What do you call a blonde with white eyes?

What do you call a blonde with white eyes?

full up......

A young blonde woman is distraught

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is
having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The
next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful
redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband
jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.
Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "shut up...you're
next!"

Why don't Blondes make good cattle herders

Why don't Blondes make good cattle herders.
Because they can never keep two calves together.

On a plane bound for New York the flight

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached
a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she
move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde
replied, "I'm blonde; I'm beautiful; I'm going to New York; and I'm
not moving."
Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the
co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman, asking her
to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde
replied, "I'm blonde; I'm beautiful; I'm going to New York, and I'm
not moving."
The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he
should do. The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how
to handle this."
He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear.
She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to
herself, "Why didn't someone just say so?"
Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to
her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. He said, "I told
her the first class section wasn't going to New York."

Judi and a brunette were discussing

Judi and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends.

Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row!

Judi: That's nothing; last night I had over a hundred.

Brunette: My god! I had no idea he was that good.

Judi: (looking shocked) Oh, you mean with one guy.

Whats a blonde's favorite surgery

Whats a blonde's favorite surgery?

A Slipodictomy.

Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?

Q. Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
A. It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.

A blond at a party was telling her friend

A blond at a party was telling her friend that
she was off men for life. "They lie, they cheat
and they're just no good. From now on when I want
sex, I'm going to use my vibrator"

"So, what when the batteries run out?" asked her friend

"I'll just fake an orgasm like always."